Sometimes I obsess about specific foods.
For instance, pizza is a prime example.
I love pizza. Not only are there about 21 different styles of it, but it's so versatile when it comes to the different toppings. I mean, you can throw anything on a pizza.
Lately, I've been obsessing over croissants, white chocolate and cranberry oatmeal cookies, mangosteen juice, mozzarella sticks, and aloe water.
And, of course, I went and bought all of these items when I went to the grocery yesterday.
It'll all probably be gone by tomorrow, knowing me.
I think I've said it before, but I'm attracted to sad things. This includes love songs.
Because I'm sure we're all aware of the 'good' side of love.
But there's the other side too, which can't go ignored for all that long.
I've been listening to this song for months now. Sure, it's danceable and whatnot, but its bittersweet nature is what seals the deal for me. Plus, minus the whole 'I'm-watching-you-kiss-a-girl' thing and the mention of stilettos, it's pretty much the story of my life when I go out to clubs.
Moving on, my roommate will be moving out come the beginning of next year and then I'll officially be alone. I'm gonna move into a new apartment by myself and just live that solitary life. In actuality, I'm looking forward to it. And it's in this time that I'll probably look into getting a dog. I'm leaning toward a Rottweiler, but I'm open to other breeds (except for the super small ones. I'm always afraid I'll kick or even step on them).
September 25, 2010
September 20, 2010
st. elmo
You know, days like this, I really don't know what to do with myself.
I just find it harder and harder to scrounge up motivation to do anything (besides playing a video game).
Even typing this was a feat. But I figured 'why not?'
I mean, is this depression or something?
All I want to do now is go to work, come home, game, and sleep.
I hardly eat because I never buy food because I'm too lazy to go to the grocery store.
And on the rare occasion that I do go to the store and buy food, I'll come home and eat a majority of it on that same day, leaving me with nothing to eat for the next week or so.
What's my damage?
I almost feel stale.
I'm dull. Like some antique. Except I lack their fragile beauty; their hidden, story-filled past.
Like... what am I supposed to do? As much as I enjoy doing nothing, how do I begin doing something?
(And the fact that I have to ask that is a bit unsettling.)
I just find it harder and harder to scrounge up motivation to do anything (besides playing a video game).
Even typing this was a feat. But I figured 'why not?'
I mean, is this depression or something?
All I want to do now is go to work, come home, game, and sleep.
I hardly eat because I never buy food because I'm too lazy to go to the grocery store.
And on the rare occasion that I do go to the store and buy food, I'll come home and eat a majority of it on that same day, leaving me with nothing to eat for the next week or so.
What's my damage?
I almost feel stale.
I'm dull. Like some antique. Except I lack their fragile beauty; their hidden, story-filled past.
Like... what am I supposed to do? As much as I enjoy doing nothing, how do I begin doing something?
(And the fact that I have to ask that is a bit unsettling.)
September 10, 2010
sostenuto
Suddenly, I feel like Fiona Apple's "Sullen Girl":
Days like this, I don't know what to do with myself
All day and all night
I wander the halls along the walls
And under my breath, I say to myself
"I need fuel to take flight"
And there's too much going on
But it's calm under the waves
In the blue of my oblivion
Under the waves
In the blue of my oblivion
Days like this, I don't know what to do with myself
All day and all night
I wander the halls along the walls
And under my breath, I say to myself
"I need fuel to take flight"
And there's too much going on
But it's calm under the waves
In the blue of my oblivion
Under the waves
In the blue of my oblivion
September 6, 2010
circumcolumnar
I have this side of the family that has a certain distinctive facial feature I noticed the other day. The shape or their eyes makes them appear sleepy or sad. And it strikes me as astounding because this particular side of my family (my father's cousins) are these light-skinned individuals with these sort of dull, almost golden or yellow-green hue to their eyes. So they've got these gorgeous eyes almost totally hidden by their eyelids.
I know, I know-- silly of me to obsess over a facial feature, but I think I'm attracted to sad things (like the melancholic look on their faces).
Recently, my parents visited me. Sort of like a check up on how I'm doing since I'm in my first apartment away from home and I'm living that adult way of life, I guess. And what was fun was just hanging out with my parents, not necessarily as their equal, but as a responsible young man and not their child. I noticed nuances in their relationship that I'd never pick up on as a kid. I kind of surprised myself at discovering my parents all over again.
And that's a bit of a double-edged sword with my family. We keep to ourselves, even to each other. It's not as though we hide secrets from each other, but we definitely stay out of each others' business.
For instance, my parents hardly ever discuss the future or being grandparents. When I came out to them, there was a bit of a backlash and the topic got swept under the rug. As it stands now, it's kind of a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" issue-- They don't ask about that side of my life and I don't tell them. I often think about the moment where I enter a serious relationship and the guy wants to meet my parents and I have to explain to him that I might not be able to introduce him as "my boyfriend".
Still, if it's a relationship that gets that serious (which would be a feat for me), I'd despise the idea of keeping it a secret and it'd probably end up being a "This is my boyfriend. Deal with it." kind of thing instead.
Finally, I think I may begin taking pictures again. A few of my friends have told me about 'Project 365' in which you take a picture every day for a year. I've heard it improves your sense for photography. Maybe it'll become a little hobby for me and I can say that I do more than play video games for hours on end (...not that that's a bad thing...)
I know, I know-- silly of me to obsess over a facial feature, but I think I'm attracted to sad things (like the melancholic look on their faces).
Recently, my parents visited me. Sort of like a check up on how I'm doing since I'm in my first apartment away from home and I'm living that adult way of life, I guess. And what was fun was just hanging out with my parents, not necessarily as their equal, but as a responsible young man and not their child. I noticed nuances in their relationship that I'd never pick up on as a kid. I kind of surprised myself at discovering my parents all over again.
And that's a bit of a double-edged sword with my family. We keep to ourselves, even to each other. It's not as though we hide secrets from each other, but we definitely stay out of each others' business.
For instance, my parents hardly ever discuss the future or being grandparents. When I came out to them, there was a bit of a backlash and the topic got swept under the rug. As it stands now, it's kind of a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" issue-- They don't ask about that side of my life and I don't tell them. I often think about the moment where I enter a serious relationship and the guy wants to meet my parents and I have to explain to him that I might not be able to introduce him as "my boyfriend".
Still, if it's a relationship that gets that serious (which would be a feat for me), I'd despise the idea of keeping it a secret and it'd probably end up being a "This is my boyfriend. Deal with it." kind of thing instead.
Finally, I think I may begin taking pictures again. A few of my friends have told me about 'Project 365' in which you take a picture every day for a year. I've heard it improves your sense for photography. Maybe it'll become a little hobby for me and I can say that I do more than play video games for hours on end (...not that that's a bad thing...)
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