arethusa

This morning, I was working on an entry about my first boyfriend.
I was suddenly nostalgic due to viewing his photos on Facebook.
Memories of us remain fresh in my mind; you never forget the first love, right?
I still think that if I make the trip over to Germany and find him, I'll just collapse in his arms and we'll revert back to our 15-year-old selves and he'll chuckle and call me 'Fat head'.

Now, I'm not holding on to that hope, mind you. I understand that we're two people on different paths in life.

...still... if those paths should somehow cross as they have once before...

Anyway, I keep telling myself that I'll gather the energy to actually roll out of bed and prepare for my trip next month... and yet I end up staying up all night and sleeping through the day. What's worse, I find myself searching for food in the wee hours of the morning when fine restaurants have gone and closed for the evening.
And when you're not in the mood for Waffle House or Taco Bell, you get a bit irritated at the lack of late night eateries.

In any case, this post is going nowhere and I had nothing poignant/moving/significant to say in the first place. I suppose I just felt like writing. I do intend to post more once I embark on my trip (I'm told there's wi-fi). Maybe pictures too?

houttuynia

I attended my job's Christmas Party the other night.
As I entered the more than spacious ballroom they reserved, hundreds of people sitting at round tables with poinsettia centerpieces, I realized that I was alone in a sea of 30-40 year old married couples.
But that sort of fueled some kind of fire in me.
I notice that the more challenging/difficult/uncanny a situation is, the more gutsy I become (like a hyper "I-don't-give-a-fuck" mode).
So every spot at a table had a glass of water, a glass of tea, and a salad... but to me, it just looked like people were sitting in all the empty spots at a table. So I pretty much just strut my way to a table that was entirely empty and sat alone (at one moment, I joked and pretended to talk to the rest of the table. I mean... I found it funny).
Eventually, the table behind me offered an empty seat they had.
Occupancy at their table: Three couples... and me.

And I'm not saying all of this to emphasize the sentiment that I was alone at the party.
...well, maybe I am... but in any case, I didn't care too much.
Toward the end of the night, I ended up by myself again. Another co-worker invited me to sit with him and his crew at their table but it then essentially became them chatting away while I listened (aka being by myself in a group of people).
I don't aim to engage in anti-social behavior. It's just some odd mix of not speaking unless I'm spoken to and taking the time to actually listen to people instead of running my mouth (something I've noticed that people do waaay too much). Sometimes I believe that people just... need to listen...
So I do.

I'm being the change I want to see in the world?

Whatever. I looked good that night. Only got one compliment on my outfit.

I think that upset me more than anything.

pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis

Alright, so I got laid this past weekend.
To be honest, it was just to scratch an itch, therefore, there won't be many details to share.
Besides the fact that he was a bit older than me and liked for me to call him 'daddy'.
Also, if I closed my eyes and ran my hands along his hips, they felt like granite (he was a former bodybuilder).
Anyway, things at work are well. For my nomination, I had to go before a board of my superiors for an interview. I didn't know what to expect, causing me to behave in a somewhat nonchalant manner. Hopefully, I didn't come off too aloof.
On top of that, I've had plenty of running around to do in preparation for a business trip for next month. Much of the tasks I have to accomplish during the day, which means I have to skip work in order to accomplish them. This leaves me beyond exhausted when I get home (this week alone, I've fallen asleep at my laptop about a dozen times). Despite adjusting my sleep schedule accordingly, I guess that nocturnal lifestyle is something my body prefers.

prink

I believe I'm either nominated or have been selected as employee of the month at my job.

Which is funny because I hardly think I deserve it. I mean... I just get out there and go to work.
Then again, with the people I work with, maybe that's the reason why.
Not saying that everyone I work with just bullshits around...
...but when it comes to it, I complain the least when it comes to doing work.

I have not bought plane tickets to go home for Christmas/New Year's, mainly because I'm unsure of how long I'll be able to be gone for. We're given the choice to work either on Christmas or New Year's and I've decided to work Christmas; I'm not that much of a fan of it in the first place.

I'm trying to run more. I've decided to get up and run at least two miles a few times a week, maybe like two or three. The place I run is this huge bridge that has a light show on it every night.

It's pretty because it shifts patterns from multicolored to just one color and it'll flash and whatnot. Reminds me of the Northern Lights when I used to live in Alaska. I miss seeing them; even as a kid, I knew that the colors in the sky was something amazing. My dad was actually surprised when his son, just in 2nd grade, told him "Duh, daddy, that's the aurora borealis."
In any case, it'll be a joy to return home to see my family and friends and lay around and do nothing in the house.

I also hope I get laid.

...what? It's been a dry year for me.