coelostat

No one reads this and that's fine to me.
I need to stop wanting to make out with boys. I'm unsure if that falls under 'oral fixation' territory, but kissing is one of my favorite activities and in the presence of cute boys, I just want to cut the chitchat and say "I'd like to kiss you."
I doubt that'd go over well in most situations though.
Spent an ungodly amount of money on clothes today.
(Actually, I'm spending a little more as I type. Thank God for online shopping.)
I've been on vacation since last week and I've spent a lot of it running around, catching up with friends, and getting fat.
Which is bad since I need to get in shape.
Why is fitness super important lately?
Everyone's talking about losing weight or gaining muscle or dieting or portion control or whatever.
Sometimes I'm amazed with cultural fixations.
Like social networking or reality t.v. or Livestrong bracelets.
There's almost always a time when the U.S. (or the world) just... latches onto things.

Remember the Macarena?

hereat

What hasn't been on my mind lately? Let's make this simple, yes?

Saw a friend's performance in a dance recital. I now want to have sex with said friend.
Something about applause for people makes me want to cry.
I'm wondering why I'm such a workaholic.
On the note of being a workaholic, when will I set aside time to actually try and develop a romantic relationship with a person?
On the note of romantic relationships, how do I even begin to explore that territory while being in a glass coffin when it comes to my sexuality and my parents/extended family.
I hate breaking hearts but it's become so routine.

trochaic

I like to travel.
It's why I picked the job I have now.
But I hate the process that leads up to travel (...mainly packing my clothes).
There's also a bit of anxiety I get. What if I miss my flight? What if security freaks out over some mundane item I have in my bag? What if my plane bursts into flames mid flight? What if my luggage gets lost?

Shit like that.

So on my most current expedition, I missed my flight. It left at 6:45 a.m. and I tried to check in at 6:20 a.m.
Now, for the record, I know-- get to the airport at least an hour or two before your flight takes off. However, I don't think my roommate would have been down with waking up at 4 or 5 in the morning, considering he got off work late the night before and has to work a full day tomorrow (...er today... whatever).

Long story short, I was late because of him (granted, I agreed to leave the house at the time he designated... but I'm still miffed).

So now I'm in this weird limbo, trying to snag another flight to get home, waiting in the airport... next flight isn't 'til around 11:40 a.m... the time that I would've been home had I NOT missed my flight.

I'm not angry.


(Pfft, yeah... keep tellin' yourself that, kid)

tetragonurus

Yeah, so blogging from my phone = distorting my posts so I'll go ahead and edit them so they at least resemble a coherent thought.
Now while I don't want this to turn into a blog where I complain about relationships, I did want to mention the current development in my latest one.
You see, my old boyfriend (for some reason 'ex-boyfriend' has a negative connotation to me) called the other night and he brought up being with me... again. And it came down to him saying "I think you should wait for me to get my degree in two years."
Hold the phone.
You want me to wait two years for you? And then what? Because currently, I don't know where I'll be in two years. Certainly it'd be different if, in two years, there was a definite possibility that he and I could get back together. But waiting for the unknown? I'll pass.
And he got upset and was asking these questions and after saying that he hated me and calling me a bastard I finally told him that he brought all of this on himself.
He brought all of this unnecessary drudgery into what was once a peaceful and mutual ending to our fantastic relationship. We both hung up and he called back not too soon after that (like he always does) but I didn't respond.
And I don't think I will for a while... for his sake and mine.


Lastly, on another note, writing this felt good. Not so much in the sense of telling the internet about my drama, but just the fact that I'm writing again. And while it's about something easy, i.e. my life, it's still putting my thoughts/feelings into words.

Now, to get back into writing fiction. That's another entry...

cleromancy

I said I'd stop this faux-twittering bullshit, but I find that when I'm standing in a club/party and there's little for my hands to do, I think "This is a perfect time to blog," mainly because I think more about social concepts/ideas when I'm watching people interact in a club setting. My thoughts mainly consist of "...why are they doing that?" and I try to wrap my head around why a specific style or dance or whatever is as popular as it is at the moment.

...Lastly, I'm perturbed that this mini-blog will be segmented into five parts and, for that matter, out of order. Wonder if I could just upload a Word document or something. Guess I'll ponder that on my next outing.

...and this is feeling way too much like Twitter... so I think I'll relax for a bit and just resort to jotting down notes on paper.

When someone says "Hey, I have something to tell you but I'll tell you later," is there a polite way to just be like "Why don't you just tell me now, dick, since you've pulled me aside JUST to tell me that"?

...I'm also concerned about the eerie similarity mobile blogging has to Twitter (and, man, do I loathe Twitter).

Blogging from my phone... I'm unsure if this is a step in the right direction, a waste of time, or a big 'ol mistake.

discountenancing

I moved in February and my boyfriend at the time and I agreed that a relationship wouldn't work because of the uncertainty of both of our futures.
But he still calls and we still talk and he's having trouble coping.
"I miss you so much," he says, with the delicacy of a flower petal.
"I just wish you were here; I want to kiss you," he tenderly says.
And he tells me that he cannot, for the life of him, get me out of his head.
Granted, we had a wonderful relationship while it lasted and hearing him say such things is a romantic's delight...
But I'm not too much of a romantic. And I sit on the other end of the phone and just... listen to him.
"I miss you too," I'll say, but in my mind it's Yes, I miss you... but not enough to call you nearly every day.